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I Believe

11/15/2013

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A couple of weeks ago, I had the opportunity to teach the 8th graders about the Apostles Creed. These eighth graders! They are full of spirit, full of spark and on that strange road of lurching along in faith or falling head over in heels in love with Jesus. They are no different than any class of 8th graders who came before or any that will come after. It is a fun age to work with. 

We talked about where the creed came from, why we have it and examples of creeds in the bible. There are many places in the bible where the writers of the Old Testament and New Testament knew the importance and value of writing down what they believe, and we looked up those passages. We also talked why each part made its way into the Creed and how each article reveals what we believe about the God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit - that devine mystery called the trinity. 

As I was preparing, I started thinking of the creed. Here it is if you want to read through: 

I believe in God, the Father Almighty, creator of heaven and earth. 

I believe in Jesus Christ, His only Son our Lord, 

He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary. He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried. He descended into hell. On the third day, He rose again. He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the father. He will come again to judge the living and the dead. 

I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Christian church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body and the life everlasting. Amen


If you are like me, you read and recite this so quickly that you forget just how important the words are, how much is said in such a short passage. 

I imagine most of us don't often reflect and meditate on what each article means. We don't fully comprehend the depth of each phrase. Furthermore, we don't consider how what we believe should affect how we live. 

We know what we believe, but we have no idea what we believe. 

For instance, we say that God is the creator of heaven and earth (and therefore, all things on heaven and earth). Do we treat people as a beautiful creation of the Father Almighty? Or do we judge by appearance? Do we value life - all life, born and unborn - as a blessed creation of the Father? Do we care for the earth, this place we inhabit, as a fantastic creation of the One who called it good? Or are we reckless in our use of resources, goods ... and people. 

Do we trust the power of God, the same power that conceived Jesus and rose him from the grave? Do we understand that confessing that power also confesses that we have that same power in us? That same power of the Holy Spirit dwells in us and gives us the courage, strength and boldness to proclaim who we are and what we believe, without fear! This power gives us life, gives us freedom to unabashedly follow the Lord without fear and chains? This power begs us to ask "whom shall I fear" and know the answer is NO ONE! 

Do we really believe in the holy Christian (catholic - which means universal - is said in some churches) church? Or, do we get hung up on shrapnel, those little shards of difference that prevent sharing the Gospel and replace it with petty arguments that cause division. I would argue that often, our actions as churches and denominations deny that we actually believe in the holy universal church...and we shift the focus of church from Jesus to things of man. 

And finally. Do we really believe in the forgiveness of sins? Do we really know that we are forgiven if we confess and repent? Do we trust that the slate is clean and we are washed and purified? Moreover, does our "belief" in our own forgiveness echo into our lives and how we forgive others? Or, do we deny what we state in the creed by hanging on to anger and hurt, creating grudges and walls between believers and non-believers alike?

As I reflect on the creed, this I know: I BELIEVE. 

My life just has a bit of catching up to do. 

Lord, 
I trust in you, I trust in the work of the cross. I trust that you are pouring out your Holy Spirit as I seek you and follow your will for my life. Continue to purify and refine me, Lord. That is my prayer. 
Amen

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Disoriented

11/12/2013

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October is a month marked by packed schedules, full days and fuller evenings. Between the responsibilities of the ministry I serve (October is Confirmation and retreat month), the full onslaught of activity schedules for our four children, Seminary intensives and more, there is never a dull moment. There is little time to stop, breathe, and enjoy the little moments. The end of October always means a season of disorientation and reorientation for my husband and I. Disorientation as we race to this and that and try to remember where we need to be to when. Reorientation sets in as we reconnect and have a full conversation again. (Thanks, November...for arriving as always!)

This October brought with it a season of disorientation with the Lord. Disorientation can mean a feeling of separation and distance. But this October's gift of disorientation is not the result of separation, but instead a profound season of discernment. The season of discernment caused disorientation has left me (as my supervisor, Mark, identified) restless. Like a compass spinning round and round, but failing to find North, I haven't been able to get my bearings of what God is calling me to. The sense that God is calling me to something new and/or different - here or elsewhere - is clear. 

This way, that way or the other way. Spin, spin, spin. 

I've spent many hours reading scripture, completing my devos, listening to worship music and reflecting on my ministry, call and purpose. The discernment is awesome. The resulting disorientation is not awesome. 

Spin, spin, spin. It is dizzying, this season. And exciting. Nerve-wracking. Exhausting. Confusing. Lonely. 

As I have lingered in this season of discernment caused disorientation, I am struck by Psalm 13: 

How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
    and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
    Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
    and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love;
    my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise,
    for he has been good to me.

What I trust in this season of discernment and disorientation is that the Lord is preparing me. I am not going into this season separated from him, but with a desire to draw nearer to him. I am acutely aware that if I am to serve him as he is calling me to do, and if I am to follow where he leads, I must draw near to him. I can not follow his lead, and lead others to follow HIM if I am not heading his words. 

So I linger. I spin. And I trust. I trust his love. I trust his plan. I trust his purpose. I keep reaching for the Rope that is Christ. 

I seek him. He receives my seeking heart. 

I confess my sin and seek forgiveness. He pours out his grace. 

And above all, with a heart full of thanksgiving, I rejoice. I rejoice! 

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    And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
    - Micah 6:8 (NIV)

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