The past few weeks, I've been sharing via Facebook and Twitter my upcoming mission trip to Ecuador. As I have shared the what, I have also asked for prayer and financial support. Can I just tell you that is not an easy ask? 

For me, the most difficult part of this mission has been getting over the fear of asking for support. I've worked with kids for a long time, and some have been bold enough to step out into the mission field, trusting they will be provided for (way to be Chad, Juanita, Adam and Nathan).  But when I ask people why they don't "go" the money part is the number one thing that stands in the way. I totally, fully 100% understand this!!! To actually ask for support feels like begging and, for us independent, stoic, Norwegian-German types up here on the tundra - well, we just don't do that. We take care of ourselves! We are self-sufficient! We don't take handouts! We don't need help. Thank you very much. 

The second most difficult part of the mission process is helping people understand why international and short term mission is necessary. If I had $1 for everytime I've heard "there's plenty to do here" I'd be able to fund this mission and probably 10 more. I understand that. I do. Before I was unceremoniously inducted into the world of mission in 2008, I felt the same. Thank you, Dale Wolf.  Honestly. If it hadn't been for your gutsy bet on a totally inexperienced person taking a role in Youth Ministry, my heart would not have been set on fire for mission. 

So, let's address this logic. Yes. There is plenty to do here. There are countless needs in our own communities. There are children hungry, women battered and abused, homeless veterans. There is inequality. There is injustice. There is trafficking, human slavery, people struggling with addiction. I agree - wholeheartedly - that there is plenty to do here. 

But here's something to consider. How often do you actually do anything about the "plenty to do here." Before my first mission to Mexico, I turned away from the needs of the community in which I live. I could easily walk past the people in need on the street. I could see a Red Kettle and shrug it off. I could hear stories on the news about the needs of the Women's Shelter, or the homeless. Want to know what my natural, American Christian reaction was: "they got themselves into that situation. They did it to themselves."  I'm so ashamed. But here's my reality, and I ask you to consider if it has ever been yours. 

So how did mission change that? Well, we live in a nation where the general belief is if you work hard enough, you can succeed, overcome, change your story. If you work hard enough, commit yourself to education, staying out of trouble your story can change. I think our "American Dream" fuels our natural tendency to shrug and dismiss the desperation of people and unmet needs in our own communities.

But, when you go to a foreign country, that entire school of thought gets turned on its head. When you step foot into a different country, you see that wow  - these people work hard, they commit themselves to bettering themselves, they commit to staying out of trouble.   And nothing changes. 

Imagine this. You work hard for 16 - 20 hours a day. And this is not enough to feed your child 1/2 cup of rice for supper. You work to provide and your hard work doesn't get you anywhere, because your labor is either forced or you get paid about $1.00 a day. The clothes you make, the coffee you process, the cocoa beans you pick - all for a buck or two a day - are consumed in a country far away by people who think nothing of dropping $5.00 on a 12 oz cup of coffee. For people who rarely stop to think about the lives of those who provide their "necessities."  

Think about that, all you Starbucks nuts (self included) The people who make our coffee? It would take them 2 to 3 DAYS to afford 1  cup of what they produce. 

This is why children in these countries are abandoned. Orphaned, alone, scared. This is why the special needs children of countries such as Ecuador are "forgotten." They are lost, faceless, nameless, with no resources, no one to care for them, look out for them. They are desperate not for the American Dream, but for love. The most basic need. Before you judge their parents, think about how difficult it is to send your infant to childcare the first day. Now imagine you can't afford to feed or clothe your child and your only option is abandonment? Or, worse. Selling them into trafficking. These are not bad parents. These are parents with no choices and no options. 

Friends - when we go to these countries, we have the opportunity to demonstrate that we are not a self-serving nation of consumers, but instead that we see. And we care. And we desire to give back. When we go, especially as followers of Christ, we demonstrate that the God we serve is one who commands us to seek justice, love mercy and walk humbly. 

The benefit for the "plenty to do here?" When we come back - our hearts are shattered for the injustice here. Since returning from my first mission in 2008, I have become passionate about the needs right here. I (and my family) serve our community in countless  ways, because we have seen. And once you see, you can no longer refuse to do. Friends and family. I saw, and so I do. I saw and so I go. My heart refuses to beat in any other way. 

So I ask you all to consider. Would you give to support this mission? Would you consider passing on your daily tall, skim, mocha with extra whip cream this week and giving that amount towards this mission? 


Friends and family, I'm not necessarily suggesting you join me in person (though I firmly believe ALL people should experience one mission) but I am asking you to join me in connecting and giving back to a world in need of hope. I'm asking you to consider seeing the why behind the what, looking at this request as an opportunity. The world is in desperate need of hope. I invite you to help extend it. 


Please - check out Casa de Fe. And if you will, give. 

Today I am grieved. 

Today, the "church" is once again looking like a mess to the world outside, once again creating countless reasons for those on the outside - those who doubt God, who argue religion is toxic, who say it's a created institution that should die - to smugly suggest that maybe they are right. 

My heart is grieved. 

We have pastors building million dollar mansions. 

Pastors preaching that God wants to bless us with money and riches. 

Pastors protesting funerals of soldiers, abortion clinics and churches. 

Pastors who are vulgar, sexist, cheating control freaks. 

Pastors looking to make themselves a name politically, socially or culturally. 

Pastors falling to temptation of drug use, alcohol abuse, adultery and more.

Pastors known as "celebrity-pastors." (Cue Brad Paisley "when you're a celebrity it's adios reality...")

Then there are the pastors publicizing letters and blogs to said pastors for their lack of ethics and care.


As I read the articles and blogs, comments and attacks going back and forth, my heart broke. I wept for the bride of Christ. And for all of us within it, as leaders and members. And for followers of Jesus who have been hurt by the actions of church leaders. And for the many leaders caught in sin, who at one point in time looked at the mess and wept too.  And especially for those who just want to love others and share the good news of the Savior who reached into their sloppy mess of a life and pulled them to freedom. 

And I wept for myself. 

Let me explain why. 

I am seeking my M. Div., learning what it takes to be a leader in the church, pursuing what God has pulled me to - despite my kicking and screaming. I read these stories of pastors falling hard, and I can't help but be fearful of the slippery slope of pride and how it leads to lust for power, prestige, influence and a false sense of invincibility. 

You see, pride is part of each of us. It's lurks in the background, somewhere near good intentions, ready to take over.  In my years of youth ministry I have daily - daily - had to check my motives, check my heart. I've daily asked myself if the ministry I am serving is still about God or if I am making it about me.  There have been times when the edge of pride has been well escaped. There have been other times where its been tested and rebuked by people I love and trust. And then...there are the times it's been slippery, catching me in the muck and sliding me right into the canyon of disaster. Those have not been good times. Thank you, Lord for your grace and the grace of those I serve.  

Those times and all of the news in the world about pastors leaves me terrified. 

I'm terrified because I don't know what it is that makes a well intentioned, Christ-centered, kingdom oriented leader stop checking their pride and loosing their grip on reality to full surrender to Christ.  I know all about accountability partners, staying in the bible, having quiet time with God, daily worshipping, and taking time off for self care. But so did all the others. What changed?

Sin, at the very root, is our doubting the goodness of God. Because we doubt the goodness of God, we move into that place of pride, where we think we can do it better, know it better, preach it better. How in the world do I avoid that? How do I avoid that now? How do I avoid that in the future? 

I don't know the answers. Tonight I'm wrestling with these questions, sliding down a different slippery slope of fear and confusion of how and where I fit in the church. 

And yet, I'm comforted by the one thing that remains: the slippery slope of grace. 

Jesus Christ is madly in love with his bride, his body, the church. And he's madly in love with the broken people who make up that body. He lived and bled and died and rose again so we can throw off all that binds us, all the brokenness and be found in that grace. Despite the wreckage that seems to abound - that seems to overtake the beauty of it all -we must not forget that HIS grace is enough and will remain enough as we continue to seek him, follow him and serve him. As we move ahead and meander through this valley of "bad press" my prayer is that we grant grace to one another, grant grace to the body, grant grace even as we rebuke and correct, and work to unity under the only name that saves.

The reality is the world needs the body of Christ - no matter how broken she appears - to show them there is hope at the foot of the cross. The world is in desperate need of knowledge that there is grace and mercy and a perfect love that binds the wounds of the broken-hearted, that promises no more sorrow and tears. We have work to do, Bride. We have a people in need of care and compassion and a message of hope to share. Let's get on with the mission and serve the one who selflessly did the same for us.