In just a few days (4 to be exact) I depart with a team to serve in Ecuador. Shots done. Bags packed. Devotional started. Prayers continued. Anticipation/nerves high. The process of getting ready for international mission has been exciting and overwhelming, a lengthy checklist of things to do, that seems to only get longer each day. 

For my husband, kids and parents (who are helping Jeff care for the kids) preparing means calendars, lists of where to go when, which kid to what, who will transport who. It's an Excel spreadsheet of epic proportions, highlighted in 8 colors. It's emailing teachers to tell them I'm going to be gone, and to forgive if clothes are a bit disheveled, hair a little mussed (Jeff has many talents. Taming a 7 year old girl's hair is not one.) It's making sure bills are paid, fridge is stocked and pantry is full. It's explaining for the 100th time to the kids that I'll be gone and hoping they will be alright. I know they will be. It's attempting to make sure my rock-star husband is set, and giving thanks to God that I've got a husband who shares a heart and passion for mission. It's thanking him for allowing me to go, knowing full well he wishes he could to. It's appreciating that his "mission" for this trip is being home. Jeff, thank you. Thank you and thank you again. I praise God daily for you. 

For the ministry I serve, it's making sure everything is covered. It's making sure families know who to contact. It's checking and double checking that all the fundraising and events for summer missions are staffed and taken care of. It's assuring that Confirmation is arranged and putting final touches on curriculum. It's also lots of international calls to Jamaica, because we travel there for our Sr. High/College this summer and right now is (of course) when most of the plans need to be confirmed. 

For this mission, preparing means continuing to share what I'll be doing on mission. It means sharing the message of the mission, telling everyone I'm going - not for my glory, but for God's. It's telling people about the community, what we'll be doing and why I'm called to serve. And why you are too. Preparing means being honest about my fears and anxieties, trusting that God has got it covered. It also means continuing to lift up every member of the team in prayer, as well as the community we serve. And it's also meant seeking support for this mission, of which so many have been so generous. I'm blown away by the generosity of people to support this mission. Thank you, so much, for answering my prayers for financial support. The gifts allow me to travel and allow Jeff and I to "pay it forward" to some remarkable young people who do mission. 

As I've been reflecting this week, the words of Toby Mac's song "Steal My Show" keep playing. 


If you want to steal my show, I'll sit back and watch you. If you've got something to say, to on and take it away. Need you to steal my show, can't wait to watch you go... So take it away." 

The outro says this...in part: 

"My life. My heart. My dreams. My fears. It's all yours God. Take it away."


My heart, my passion, my prayer is that God will work through me to help others see him on this mission. My desire is to surrender fully to his will, to be reminded that it's his show, his glory, his renown for whom I go. My prayer is that as I travel, I will be reminded - yet again of that outro. It's all his. My life. My heart. My dreams. My fears. Everything. All his. All for him. May he take it and make it for his name. Amen 


If you would like to learn more about Casa De Fe and/or support this mission, click here. 


visit: http://www.gofundme.com/apaulsoncasadefe

I leave for Ecuador in 9 days.

My head is spinning, I'm overwhelmed by all I have to do, all I have to get and all the unknowns. And my arms ache, thanks to the shots I got this morning to prep my body for anything I might get into while on mission (namely, Yellow Fever, Typhoid and two different forms of Hepatitis). Now with my "Yellow Card" tucked into my passport, I'm another step closer to "ready."

Following my appointment at the travel clinic, it was time for some shopping. I got some of the items and have more to cross off the list. All of this needs to be completed Sunday night so we can pack and load the bus. 

The list of items needed for this trip is lengthy. Here's a sampling. 
- rubber boots
- water proof jacket
- quick drying coat
- quick drying pants (it rains all the time!)
- work gloves
- more work gloves
- Pepto Bismal

So based on the list, I can expect rain, work and gastro issues. I can deal with that. 

There's so much to do, so much to get done, so many nerves to quelch. 

It's so strange to me that this mission has me anxious. I've taken groups on mission for 7 years. I've been on all over the country, as well as Mexico and Canada. I've been responsible for the health and well-being of 30+ teens,  had to figure out all the details, make the plans, get us there and back alive. A breeze compared to what lies ahead. 

Some of it lies in the unknown. I'm going along for the ride. Much like my first trip to Mexico in 2008, I'm not sure of what's to come. 

Still other anxieties come from the flight. I don't like to fly and I really don't want to have a panic attack. 

Maybe I'm unsure of why I'm going. I have an idea. I feel comfortable with the why behind the what, but really... like, what am I doing on a medical mission? 

Perhaps I'm worried about Jeff and how he's going to balance it all while I'm gone. Yes. There's that. 

Or that anxiousness may be the realization that while I easily say I trust the Lord, I'm getting a full on, in-your-face,  gut-punch reminder of what it actually means to open the hand to full surrender. 

That part, that gut-punch? That has the been most amazing, grueling, freeing and exciting part of the process. I recall what we read in Ephesians 3: 

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." ---- 

I'm most anxious about, most anticipating the immeasurably more. Every mission I've led and completed, God has done immeasurably more in the lives of the kids who travelled. He's done immeasurably more in the lives of the chaperones. He's done immeasurably more in the communities we've served. Immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine. 

That is some crazy power, God. That you go before us, behind us and with us, working and doing more than we can ask, more than we can fathom. 

So for every thought I have about this mission, he is able to do more. 

For every hope I have, he is able to do more. 

For every expectation, he far outpaces anything I could consider. 

For every fear, he meets me there with immeasurably more comfort and assurance. 

And it's all for his glory. It's all for him. My job on this mission: Obedience. His promise for this mission: outcome. 

Would you join me in praying for our team? Pray for the community we will serve in Shell. Pray for our travels! Pray for the hearts of the team and those we will serve, that we will all be open to the immeasurably more. And, please consider joining us on this mission, through financial support. Any amount will help us do good work in the community and for the kingdom. 

Learn more here: 
http://www.gofundme.com/apaulsoncasadefe